From personal experience, I’ve found that talking about issues related to death and dying is, in large part, an unwanted subject. It’s one that I’ve seen be avoided like the plague. The fact is that all of us (except for the vampires amongst us) are going to have to face death at some point in our lives. I feel that addressing this head on can be a challenge, but it’s possible and necessary.
I’ve experienced people who avoid addressing that they are avoiding the topic. It sounds funny trying to convey this, but when talking about death, I have heard of other excuses that can prevent dialog from going further. There manages to be something else that needs to be wedged in the way of the topic. It seems easier for some to ignore the topic and it’s likely that people may be unconscious of this defense mechanism.
On the other hand, some people have lived full, fruitful lives and have seen all their peers pass away, so maybe the topic is not as difficult to discuss. Death is a part of life! For me, when I think about death and dying, I think more about how one lives. In my world, it’s important to live in peace and let that surround me. I want to be a blessing to others. I would like to transition with the same peace of mind, knowing that my wishes will be met.
I realize that we all experience death differently. It doesn’t have to be a morbid topic and it may not be as pleasant to think about as birth, but I do know that what I may want for my family may not be the same thing that they want for themselves. I feel it’s helpful and selfless to let my family know my desires for when I transition. I can see how that can prevent arguments, discord, and drama. For example, I think that flowers and plants at funerals look beautiful, but I’ve also seen the burden that it leaves on those who have to maintain the life of those plants. Many people don’t want a funeral at all, they would prefer to have a celebration of life. Some have strong feelings about end of life treatment. If “things” are not going well (whatever that may mean to the individual), then they may not want to be resuscitated and/or live in a vegetative state. It’s also important to know who needs to be contacted should someone not be able to speak for themselves so that their wishes are known.
I can see the conversation taking on a different spin if people can see that talking about this topic is an act of caring. Talking about it doesn’t mean that you want someone to die. It can just mean that you care about someone’s well-being through good and bad times, and this is a part of being thoughtful and wanting the best for those we love. Let’s help each other to live our best lives and transition as we choose with no regrets!
