For almost five years, I have been incredibly fortunate to be both a member of and the photographer/documentarian for the Amazing Care Network. Together with my husband and work-mate Pete Jacobson, we have interviewed members and partners of this wonderful project. We’ve learned so much. So when Cora asked me to tell a bit of my story, it seemed only fair. Tables turned.
My approach to life has been pretty much the polar opposite of “imagine yourself five or ten years from now and work toward that goal”. Instead, I tend to follow my nose and rely on my trusted network of friends and colleagues. I’m always on the lookout for the next project or situation that seems like an opportunity to learn new things, and to be with people and organizations doing good work where I can be useful and have some fun. Never in a million years might I have planned for a “career” that has included 5 years at San Francisco’s Exploratorium, followed by 17 years with the Pickle Family Circus, followed now by more than 25 years with my own business as photographer/creative consultant. It’s been a wild ride!
So when I first met Cora and learned of her idea for the Amazing Care Network, I knew I wanted to both become a member and find a way to participate. This was a time in my life when I’d just spent several years with the responsibility for managing the long distance care of my Russian (strong, stubborn, contrarian) grandmother who lived outside of London. It was tricky business, both the long distance and the international aspects. We were usually able to travel to be with her once, sometimes twice a year, but still, it was stressful and complicated, emotionally and logistically. Fortunately, my network here included helpful and caring people with knowledge of the UK systems and who had navigated similar family dynamics. So, we muddled through.
At early gatherings of ACN luncheons and teas it was enormously useful to hear others share experiences about “muddling through” with long distance care issues. Then, a few years later, my mother (British, strong, stubborn, contrarian) was facing the end of her life on the other side of the country. It’s not that the transition was particularly easier, but I do feel that some of what I had gleaned from my Amazing Care cohort helped me to be more quietly compassionate during that time.
It’s also been terrific to meet other members and partners in the program who are such great resources for specific problems. For instance, I have a great friend who has been the primary caregiver for her husband who has needed a Lot of care over the past several years. My friend is a physician, so she is obviously more than competent as a caregiver, but she’s often overwhelmed with the enormity of the complicated situation. She was particularly stumped by the complications of their long-term care policy. This conversation took place just after Pete and I had visited and interviewed Linda Jahnke in Southern California, and Linda’s specialty is, voila, helping people navigate the intricacies of long-term care policies! We made the connection, and I could hear the relief in my friend’s voice the next time we spoke. The Network works!
The networks and community that Amazing Care fosters is helping us achieve a graceful and peaceful old age and end of life. That’s the spirit and intention. And it may well help pave the way toward the kind of world that we wish to leave future generations.
