As part of a lifestyle and aging series, we’re working with renowned photographer Terry Lorant to showcase inspirational leaders in the industry. Each month, we’ll feature an inspirational member of the Amazing Care Network community who is using his or her voice to empower others in the collective aging experience — and read, in their own words, what the Amazing Care Network’s efforts mean to them.

This is Part II of Erin’s story – you can read Part I here.

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(Continued from Part I) Right now, I have a beautiful business to run. I am in the right place doing my right work, but it has been a long, dusty road.

When I filed for divorce, we had $987,000 with Merrill Lynch, that was the last statement I saw. When I called in to ask for $5,000 from my account, I was told, “I’m sorry, no ma’am, we cannot. The funds are all in your husband’s name. You’ll have to check with your husband.” So when I sit across from a new client, a woman who’s afraid, or embarrassed, I share my story, which allows her to let her guard down. My mantra continues to be, this was the smallest price to pay for the rest of my life. I picked myself up, dusted myself off and began the process of starting over.

If we tell the truth, and those around you get to tell their truths, guess what, we all find our way. If we don’t tell the truth, then we cannot find our way. These life experiences are real life. Life happens. These topics that Cora and ACN are talking about, they will happen too. This idea of getting women to talk about real life is why I like ACN. If we talk about these things, we won’t have to be afraid. We can make a plan. When you’re not afraid you can relax, and then you get to truly enjoy life. You’re doing all that you can. However if it’s not enough, you’ll know it’s not enough and you’ll make another plan, figure out other ways to make it work. We do need each other, we’re human beings. We need support and we need to be able to tell someone, I feel like this, because when we do, we inevitably feel better. When we keep it inside, it only gets worse.

I have a lovely client, an 83 year old widow. She had lost her husband, her sister and a son, with another son diagnosed with cancer, all in the space of about two months. Her financial advisor had worked with her late husband for 40 years. When her husband died, the advisor said I think you should find someone else. He had not ever worked with her, and he did not want to. She was rudderless, without an ally or someone to answer the question, “Will I be okay?”

You know, this idea that we retire, and we do nothing is absolutely ludicrous. My favorite interview recently was a CBS Sunday Morning interview with Alan Greenspan. At 84 years old, Greenspan still goes into his consulting office daily. At one point, the interviewer asks the inevitable ‘So when are you going to retire?’ to which Greenspan replies, ‘What am I supposed to do, turn my brain off?’ My thoughts precisely.

We are not having the right conversations. The thing that I’ll ask a woman is, what if you could be paid to do anything you want? What would you do? That is what retirement is, paying yourself to do whatever it is you decide you want to do. Myself, I have a fledgling business importing women’s wraps from Italy, allowing me to write off my European business travel for the next few decades. I have work that I love, something that I can still do when I’m 80. Something that brings me so much joy. If you want to have a flower shop when you retire, then do something with flowers now, so that you’re building your depth of knowledge and expertise. Truth is, we don’t necessarily die at 55, or 62 or 67. We have these long, old beautiful lives ahead of us.

These big long lives of our are why I love Cora’s physician friend of the family idea. We have a brain trust out there of retired men and women who are still quite capable, and want to still contribute to the greater good. I see that physician who has retired, put out to field as they say, but they have a working brain and a wealth of life experience. Who better to take that phone call and to say, “you might think about this, or have you considered…?” You just want a physician friend of the family. I think this is a public service, both ways. My mom was in the emergency room last night in Texas. She’s okay, but when she was home, she called me. I want to be able to call someone and ask some medical questions when I want or need to. I don’t doubt that she has good care, but I would like some peace of mind for myself. It’s really for me, I need that conversation.

People who are joining Amazing Care now are in their 40’s 50’s and 60’s. A lot of what this is becoming is aspirational. We’re in on the ground floor of what Amazing Care will become.

Photos and story by Terry Lorant.