As part of a lifestyle and aging series, we’re working with renowned photographer Terry Lorant to showcase inspirational leaders in the industry. Each month, we’ll feature an inspirational member of the Amazing Care Network community who is using his or her voice to empower others in the collective aging experience — and read, in their own words, what the Amazing Care Network’s efforts mean to them.
Nancy Young: I went to the first Amazing Care Network tea here, and I joined right away. I really liked the feeling of caring among the group in the room. I love meeting new people and being part of a setting where we can discuss some of these topics that are not easy to grapple with. As difficult issues came up, maybe one woman was having trouble with her parents, the others would start talking and relating to that. So that really appealed to me. It’s such a small amount you have to commit to become a member and open your own savings account. I invited about 11 women to one of the teas…I really wanted them to get involved, and most of them did.
It’s an important network. With the speakers that Cora invites…we look at critical ideas and things that we need to think about and talk about. It makes getting the conversation started a little easier. To think about end of life issues in a room full of people who are there for the same reason is comforting. Focus on the topic of the tea and making new friendships is what I enjoy. Just knowing that there are other people who may be having similar experiences and that they are there to help if you need it, is a wonderful part of the Amazing Care Network.
I’d like to see more men involved. They need to have these conversations too, just as much as the women. It’s such a good resource for learning how to begin the conversations and what topics you need to talk about.
My business is accounting services with an emphasis on helping people who are worried about their finances, particularly as a result of widowhood, a divorce or a spouse’s incapacitation.
Working a lot in the senior living communities can be pretty depressing because you can see what happens to families that haven’t had the important conversations about finances, and about how to plan for the later chapters of our lives. Well, in the past, none of these important topics used to come up. I feel at least our generation, those of us who are now in our 50’s 60’s 70’s, I think we’ll do a better job of it. And I think that’s exactly what Amazing Care is promoting and helping.
My own mother passed away quite suddenly when she was 80. We’d had some conversations about her life and how she was happy with how things had turned out. She was still active, still golfing. Her friends were active. So I didn’t experience with her the situations that so many people are facing in caring for an ageing parent.
She actually died at the doctor’s office. She’d gone in to get approval to fly to Hawaii for Christmas. I was with her. They said, she’d be fine flying, just be sure to get up and take a walk on the plane every hour. Then she just said ‘oh, I have this pain’. And she fell over in my lap. She had an aortic aneurysm that burst. They kept her alive for a few hours on a respirator. And when the doctor said that she would likely not live, long off the machine, I said well ok, I want to be with her until it happens. And she was disconnected. And I heard her last heartbeat. It was such a privilege to be there with her. The cardiologist later said that I had made a good decision. A lot of people would have left their parent on the machine.
Luckily she had everything in order. My stepfather made sure they both did. They were wise that way. But not a lot of people are. Time to do it!!
I really think the Amazing Care Network is going to grow large. I so look forward to the teas. At one of them, I learned the difference between Hospice and Palliative Care. That was such an interesting discussion. Cora gets such great speakers. They are all topics that need to be discussed. I’m personally planning more than I would have done in the past. Not that I’m wanting to face the difficult issues of my coming years. But this is a good education for me. I don’t really have family, I don’t have kids who will be taking care of me. So, being part of the Amazing Care Network is going to be hugely helpful. I don’t feel so much like I’m going it alone, and am making lasting friendships.
Photos and story by Terry Lorant.
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