Dear Friends,
I’ve just finished reading Life After the Diagnosis, a book written by Dr. Steven Pantilat, who practices palliative care medicine in San Francisco. The book offers acute observations about what happens when people receive a diagnosis of serious, sometimes life-threating illness as well as advice for dealing with all the medical and social issues that come with such a diagnosis.
Reading this book brought back memories of my late husband’s journey from diagnosis to surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Gosh, I wish we had had the benefit of Dr. Pantilat’s thinking back then. I imagine my husband might have made a different decision with respect to the medical interventions he endured.
Pain management was an ever-present challenge. I appreciate that no two people are the same in dealing with pain, so medical management will differ from person to person. I’m still dealing with the fact that medical management for Pablo hurt more than it helped, and I recall intense feelings of helplessness in the face of his suffering.
I write this to affirm what I want to do differently in the event I’m tasked with helping someone deal with a tough diagnosis or when I faced with serious illness. I want to be better educated about treatment options and how I would view and choose those options from the lens of my personal goals. Some of my friends are in the throes of caregiving now and are facing these issues. Some are grieving from a recent loss. Some can relate to these issues academically, but not viscerally as they have not had personal experience with this. To all of them, I send good wishes and strong encouragement to be as informed as possible, to read, to talk to medical care providers and to manage what comes consistent with their values and goals.
With best wishes,
Cora
